Yet another 101 Goals update....

I want to complete many of these goals but I get over welmed with the amount of things that I want to accomplish. I have decided instead of putting a date on when these things should be finished I will simply say that I will work on them and get them done when I can. I may delete and add to these things as my life continues to change. You never know where life is going to take you. If I only learned any one thing from the past year and a half it is that you never know so be prepared for the unexpected and be prepared to adjust goals, dreams, and priorities.

The Goals

"Daffodils" by William Wordsworth

Thank you to the wonderful man who sent this to me today. You have made my life so beautiful.

"Daffodils" (1804)
I WANDER'D lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretch'd in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.
The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed -- and gazed -- but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:
For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
By William Wordsworth (1770-1850).

Meal Plan Monday

So I am a day late posting but my my menu was done yesterday. I have found this great new online software that makes menu planning so much easier (http://www.mealsmatter.org). Add meals quickly to the calender and then select a date range and make a shopping list. East to navigate and lots of recipes in the data base. If you want to use one of your own recipes then add it to the database with a quick copy and pastes.

Tuesday: Cheesy Chicken Biscuit Cups
Wednesday: Farfalle with Creamy Wild Mushroom Sauce
Thursday: Leftovers or Frozen Pizza (Alexis has a basketball game)
Friday: Dinner at the Restaurant for Bill's Birthday (Happy Birthday Sweetie!)
Saturday: Chicken Potpie
Sunday: BBQ Chicken
Twice-Baked Potatoes
Monday: Jambalaya

Give Me Five Monday

Five reasons I am thankful this year.
1. My children are awesome and all are healthy.
2. I have a loving family.
3. I have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me and has made my life so wonderful.
4. I have a chance at lots of new beginnings.
5. I have not only a job, but a place I love to work with an extended family there that makes it even better.

For more Give Me Five Monday participants check out BeccA's Buzz!

Update 101 Goals in 1001 Days

Blue italics = in progress
Red bold = completed

Health and Fitness
1. One month with out sugar
2. Yoga or pilates one day a week
3. Get a relaxing massage 2x/year (0/6)
4. Chiropractor ever week for 2 months (0/8)
5. Take care of me 15 minutes every morning
6. Vitamins everyday for a month
7. Drop 10 pounds, and keep them off for the remainder of the project (0/10)
8. Get all my dental work completed
Personal, Self Improvement, and Well Being
9. Read or re-read 36 books and blog about them (0/36)
10. List a 101 movies I want to see and watch them.
11. No internet for one week (while at home)
12. Cut out caffeine for one month (0/1)
13. Write in my diary at least once a week (0/140)
14. Create a list of 101 things that make me happy
15. Get a tattoo
(completed since first list of goals posted. I am not sure it will be my last but it is a reminder of what I made it through and I am strong despite how I may have felt in the past.)
16. Get a make over
17. Dye my hair
18. Complete a year of school
19. Run a mile without stopping.
20. Walk once a week for at least a mile.
Relationships/Family
21. Hang out with friends outside the house once a week.
22. Spend a full 30 minutes with children each night completely uninterrupted for a month
23. Organize a picnic
24. Write a love letter
25. Weekend away twice a year (0/6)
26. Large family dinner once a month including mom, dad, Erin, Yancey, and Levon.
27. Tell those I love how much I appreciate them at least once a week.
28. Plan and do one family activity twice a month
29. Have a date night once a month (0/36)
30. Email Lynn and BJ once a month or have Alexis do it.
31. Go to the bar with girlfriends (no guys)
32. Be more involved at the kid’s school.
33. Send out Christmas cards.
34. Have one-on-one time with all three of my kids (an outing or activity of their choice) at least once per month.
35. Family dinner twice a week (0/286)
36. Create a family tree for my children
37. Put all my contacts into one, nice, organized address book.
38. Game night once a month (0/36)
39. Meet 2 new people to become friends with.
40. Get the kids involved in soccer
41. Go see Bobby twice a year
42. Schedule an activity filled summer for the kids
(Art, Outings, Science, Writing, and Reading)
Animals
43. Dog to the vet once a year (0/3)
44. Dog groomed and bathed twice a year (0/6)
45. Register dogs
Creativity
46. Catch up on children’s scrapbooks (0/3)
47. Take pictures of each of the children everyday for a month.
48. Read my book on using my camera.
49. Sit down with Ally once a week to bead.
50. Have a professional picture taken of the family
51. Make paper dolls for Anabelle
Work
52. Create a business plan for my Bakery/Catering business idea.
53. Finish Dad’s web site
54. Work on Travelin’ the Mountain Path web site
55. Continue work on Yancey’s web site
56. Finish training manuals
Community
57. Give blood 1x/year (0/3)
58. Vote at every opportunity
59. Pay it forward.
60. Donate clothes
61. Send something to a stranger via sendsomething.net once a month (0/33)
62. Pay for the people behind me in a fast food line
Financial
63. Clean up credit by paying of debts
64. Work towards buying a home
65. Save $1 for 1001 days (1/1001)
66. Keep check book balanced
67. Clip coupons & shop sales for everyday items & groceries for 3 months
68. Make a shopping Price Book
Travel
69. Take the kids to 3 different states a year (0/9)
70. Get a passport
71. Visit an attraction the kids would enjoy 3 times a year (0/9)
72. Take the kids camping once a year (0/3)
73. Hike once a month (0/36)
74. Go to New York to visit BJ
75. Go to Florida to visit Lynn
76. Complete list of 101 attractions to visit.
Purchases
77. Camcorder
78. 32” TV
79. 30 new DVDs (0/30)
80. New laptop
81. 30 Birthday cards that will fit anyone (use them)
Cooking and Food
82. Make 1 new recipe / week (total #)
83. Make a month meal plan and stick to it
84. Avoid McDonalds, Wendy’s, etc for one month
85. Include salads in with meals at least twice per week
86. Try a new restaurant 6 times a year (no kids)
Organization
87. Follow fly lady rules for one week
88. Then one month
89. Plan and follow a schedule for cleaning and organization including tidying, cleaning bathroom, vacuuming, washing, bedding. Include waking up at 6am.
90. Keep kitchen counter and sink clear of dishes 1 week x 6 (0/6)
91. Declutter the last corner of the house where things are lurking
92. Declutter: sell or give-away 101 material items I own
93. Clean out closet of unworn clothes 1x / year (0/3)
94. Print chore chart for the kids and use it!
95. Paint and organize kid’s room.
96. Paint and organize kitchen.
97. Clean attic and get rid of crap!
98. Clean out car once a month
99. Keep a to do list and update it daily in my planner
Random
100. Write a new 101/1001 list on October 10, 2010
101. Celebrate success by buying a fabulous memento on day 1001

New Beginings

So as usual it has been a while since I have been in the blogosphere. It is very interesting to go back and look at my previous post because I have found myself in a much better place right now. So much has happened in the past year and it has been a very long healing process but I feel better then I have in a long time. There was a rainbow at the end of the storm.

So this morning I have been cleaning. Or I am supposed to be cleaning. Haha! I came across my 101 Goals in 1001 Days list. While I have completed some of them most I have not but writing them has still made me think about them every now and again so I have decided to renew them. Some are obsolete at this point so a fresh start is good. Maybe I will keep up with them a little better this time. Most of them are things that I would really like to accomplish. So look for them in the next post...

I need to write...

I need to get out all the pain, frustration, aggravation, and every other damn emotion I am unable to shake. I try to write to get some of these emotions out on paper but my thoughts become a jumbled mess. In my head they are clear. It is clear what I need to say or write but when it comes to getting it out whether on paper or out of my mouth it comes out in a jumble. I wish it came easier to me. I think it would make things easier if my mind could connect the two; from what I think to what I write or say. Who knows maybe I am not making any sense as I write this very blog but at this point I don't care. I need to write. I may just decide to delete it anyway. I always feel bad for those who come to read my blog with my very unclear thoughts. But anyway... on to what I actually came here to do. To vent...

Hmmmm....

Where do I begin...

My ex, this is where the pain, frustrations, aggravation, and every other emotion begins and ends anyway isn't it. OK well maybe not ends but this is defiantly where it began. He or maybe me or maybe both is where this mess all started. Why do i focus on all the things that I can not change. Simply focusing on the fact that I may not have been wife of the year but I certainly didn't deserve this. Why focus on that, whether I deserved it or not it has happened and there is nothing that will change it. Move on damn it! I also find myself talking to my ex like he is my best friend. While some people would think this is great, at this point it is not healthy for me to call him sobbing. Granted at this point I don't have anyone but my family to call because friends seem to be scarce. Calling my ex just makes the pain worse the next day. I know this and I still pick up the phone. And sometimes he listens and comforts me and other times he gets defensive and angry. This is not healthy for either of us. But what else do I do when I am sitting in my quiet house at 11 at night crying because I feel lost and lonely? What do you do when your best friend is your ex who betrayed you in the worst possible way?

Speaking of best friends... What the hell happen to my best girlfriend? I have always known she was self absorbed. I have always known that when it came to choosing a guy over her friends the guy would win. And not just choosing but we are talking completely forgetting she has friends to devote her entire life to a guy who she will get tired of in 6 months. Who cares that I am the one who never missed a single doctor appointment when she was pregnant with her daughter or that I allowed her to live with me rent free in a time of need. She left me walking on the side of the road for God's sake. I found out my husband has a love child and instead of picking me up she left me walking on the side of the road because she had a party to go to. Why do I even consider her a friend much less my best friend? Why do I miss her now that we aren't speaking? And to set the record straight, she is not speaking to me because I called her out on the fact that she wasn't being a good friend. Did she really think she was?

On to the most recent frustration in my life... I hate having to start over in the dating scene. It sucks. I keep seeing the commercial for the new movie, "He's Just Not That in to You". I want to make that trailer disappear because every time I see it I question my very new relationship. I question it even more with the lack of communication over this past weekend and the unanswered texts. He has a lot on his plate but couldn't he just let me know that we are ok and that he will be back in touch as soon as everything is settled. I guess he can't really say "we" are ok because we never talk about us. And maybe that is the issue. I was all about talking about feelings before but with everything that has happened I have become uncommunicative I don't talk about how I am feeling and since he doesn't either it all just goes unsaid. Not sure how to solve this one either. Do I tell him how I feel or do I just go with the flow?

There are so many unanswered questions in my life right now. I hate unanswered questions. I like to have a plan. I have no plan. Where do I go from here? I probably ask myself that question a hundred times a day. It is driving me nuts. I think I am actually going crazy! So here it is, my jumbled thoughts. My spelling is horrific, my grammar is terrible, and on top of that I have no idea what I am saying but I need to write! Sorry to those who are actually reading this.

Oh and my solution to all this tonight... Drink to much wine!